Ohhhh Microsoft....

Well I told you about my Xbox LIVE gamertag problems. (Why is LIVE in all caps anyway?)

Well I used the webpage form and two days later I got a polite email.

It seems my account problem requires a lot of security questions so the web form will not work. I need to call the 1-800 number instead.

1-800-4MYXBOX

As you might expect, the person that answers is a female computer and you spend a while going through the phone tree options to find your problem.

"OK. I can help you with that." Except she never could. Here is a tip: "Operator" will get you a person although that is no guarantee that they can help you either.

Unfortunately the person I got was rather hard to understand. She did ask a lot of questions, my address 3 years ago, my phone #, my email, etc. All the info I would have used to create my account when I got it in 2006.

our customer surveys indicate that this point in the call is an optimal up-sell opportunity

At least she was polite and she did help explain my problem. The only weirdness was at the end when she asked if I was planning to upgrade to a Gold membership, ie pay money.

I got the impression tech support was suddenly an up-sell opportunity. Yeah, good luck with that. As someone who is not happy about wasting time with tech support in the first place, I was not feeling inclined to pay Microsoft anything for my trouble...

how did it feel to be terminated?

So what was my problem?

"If an Xbox LIVE account has not been used for a long period of time, the passport account is deleted. If you want to keep your old gamertag, you will need to create a new account by talking with my supervisor."

Deleted? Really? Did she say DELETED? I didnt log in for 9 months and they deleted my email account? What, to save a few bytes of space?

When I thought about this I was really surprised. They kept my gamertag information but deleted my email account which I need to access my gamertag. How does that make any sense?

I use Yahoo email about once a year and they have kept that account for me for a decade... I had 4 Microsoft passport accounts and 3 of them have been deleted in the past year. Yeah, I am definitely not wanting to upgrade to an Xbox LIVE gold account.

software catch-22

The weird thing is that my Xbox360 remembers my gamertag info and all the games I have played but it no longer has an email address. Knowing Microsoft I am sure each part of my "account" is stored in a different system and managed by different departments, each with their own goals and priorities but still. I am beginning to see why they needed a fancy automated phone computer to separate themselves from unhappy customers.

But hey, no problem. All they need to do is add a new email account to my gamertag info and I am back in business. Let's talk to the supervisor.

meet the super

He is polite but REALLY hard to understand. He gets my Xbox serial numbers and then tells me that "one of our engineers will investigate your request and get back to you."

What? Cant you just take my new email address?

"No sir, we have to investigate." Oh brother, how long with that take?

"5 to 10 business days."

5... to... 10... business days!? DAYS!! OFMG.

But wait a minute, why did I even have to talk to you? That first person could have told me the same thing and saved me 5 minutes on the phone waiting for you to tell me that you couldnt help me.

tech-support quest recap

Well kids, let's recap our Xbox LIVE experience:

I buy the game, cant play it without an account. I cant get my old account working. I turn on my old Xbox and cant get that working. Fill out the tech support website form. 2 days for an answer that says call the phone number. Call the phone number and after 20 minutes of alternate waiting and interrogation, I get to wait another two weeks to hear back, something. Who even knows what this "investigation" involves and the supervisor did not actually confirm they could assign my gamertag to a new email address.

A little swearing to myself. Another cost benefit soliloquy: is saving this gamertag account really worth all this fuss or should I start over tonight? Just shake your head and walk away.

Thank you for enjoying another episode of Tech Support Quest. Come again.