Recently in Humor Category

This video is just too funny in so many ways.

My senior year of high school in 1987 I got an LP by this rapper called Ice-T. I loved that album and the follow up "Power". Ice-T totally cracks me up. His appearance is a little sloppy in his acting gigs but it seems like the real Ice is still pretty funny.

I especially liked how upset he gets with video games and then says that he likes it because it relaxes him. LoL. So true.

And what's up with that Coco? Never heard of her but I cant wait to see Coco's World when she is 45 year. Oh brother...

Have you experienced the REI effect?

I went into a store last night to pick up my latest fashion favorite: Patagonia long underwear. I have taken to wearing a Patagonia shirt with shorts and wool socks. The combination makes me feel summery (the shorts) and keeps me comfortably warm (since it is the middle of deep, dark winter here) while I sit at my computer keyboard, slowly gaining mass from rich food and lack of exercise.

But you get into an REI and suddenly feel - transformed!

Look at all this cool stuff! Suddenly I want, daresay need, an avalanche beacon and a GPS watch and -30 Degree sleeping bag. All of a sudden I am that guy who gets up at dawn on the weekend for a 10 mile hike through winter snows only to break fast with water and a powerbar on top of a mountain summit. I am that guy who needs a 4x4 with a roof rack because he actually has gear that needs to go in a roof rack and the mini-van just cannot take the roads I need to travel.

You go into an REI and you suddenly feel sporty, athletic, healthy, brimming with vim. Even if you arent that guy you feel like you could be. The possibilities all seem possible... if you just had the right gear.

Which is actually a lot easier than being sporty or athletic or, god help me, getting up at dawn. :)

I have lived in a number of cities. Every town has its quirks. Often the locals dont notice them, at least not the way outsiders do.

Well, Im what the locals call a "latte-sipping immigrant from California" (not to be confused with a Latte-sipping Liberal, who are indigenous) and Im here to say that people in Seattle just dont know how to drive. They are TERRIBLE! But more than that, the roads here would put a glint in Rube Goldberg's eye. Bad road design greatly increases the likelihood of bad driving because it gives people so many opportunities to display their lack of common sense or patience.

When you need a break from watching the Bush administration ruin our nation and the world, here are two bits of funny stuff on the Internet.

Friends of mine just showed me this Ask a Ninja site. The videos are hilarious. When a guy doing a monologue in a Ninja suit is funnier than hours of prime time TV sitcoms, you have to ask yourself about the future of network television. (There is also a blog.)

This commercial was shown in one of my classes where we discussed the difference in humor between the US and Asia. Im not Asian, but I thought it was hilarious. (It takes a while to load and you need Flash8)

I just want to know why Cheney gets to shoot Republicans and I dont? He already gets to live in an "undisclosed location", have secret meetings, invade countries and torture people. Why should he get to do this too? It's not fair!

I am generally opposed to guns and hunting for sport but for this I could make an exception. Stock a nice national park with hard-core Republicans, install a few "blinds" with cold beer, and I would be happy to pay for a few cartons of buckshot and a pocket-sized copy of the [NRA-edited] 4th Amendment.

Ahh, if only wishes were fishes.

This runway situation seems serious. My first thought was that this is an opportunity for the Seattle city planners to come to the rescue. For those that dont live here, Seattle has an ingenious grid system which 1 person in 4 understands and which leads to distinctive and unambiguous intersections as 124th and 124th Ave.

I think the pilots might do better with a grid system in which the runways run perpendicular to the taxiways. S Runway SW and S Runway SE are connected by S Taxiway S and S Taxiway N. Yes, that would definitely improve things.

Pilots mistake taxiway for runway at Sea-Tac

By David Bowermaster Seattle Times aerospace reporter

Sunday, November 13, 2005

At least eight times since December 1999, experienced pilots from five different airlines have mistaken Taxiway Tango for Runway 16R.

read it here

I type a lot. Like everyone else, i have a QERTY keyboard. I have heard that QWERTY keyboards are poorly designed for actually typing English but like Windows, an inferior product has dominated the market so there isn't much point in discussing alternatives because only weirdo's have them.

The point is that my hands hurt and the more i type the more they hurt. My goal is to type fast enough to get my ideas out there and to type little enough not to hurt.

Whenever i write, i get these little red lines that tell me when i have misspelled something. This is a nifty feature that i love but it has made me aware of a problem which leads to my real point.

The problem is dont. Why isn't dont a word? Why do i need to find the apostrophe to make dont don't? If i type dont instead of don't, do you get lost? Do you get confused? I dont think so.

Frankly, that apostrophe is in a really annoying spot on the keyboard. Not only is the apostrophe a pain to include but as I have conclusively proved, including it really doesn't add any meaning. If the apostrophe was on my underused left-hand, we could talk, but it isn't and my right hand is pained by apostrophes.

Can't = cannot = can not, right? These two words have the same meaning. We use the apostrophe to indicate that we dropped the "no" from can(no)t to make can't. That makes sense. So far so good.

Don't = do not. Hmm, why isn't there a word called 'donot' which would parallel 'cannot'? i know that we already have a word called donut but i dont think there would be to much confusion there. Frankly, its more confusing to have cannot and not to have donot.

Therefore,

a) we need to add donot.
b) we need to drop those apostrophes! - can't becomes cant and don't becomes dont.

Making these two changes will not cause mass confusion nor will they increase the number of aneurisms from reading. Just think of all the natural resources we will conserve by of all the annoying apostrophes we wont have to type!!

Who is going to care about this change anyway? Most of us get lazier every year so dropping the apostrophe makes good sense for us. The only people who this change will bother are those prissy grammarians. You know who I am talking about. Those guys in bow-ties, those women who act like they have never seen a television, those people who kill the conversation by talking about books that read like the Oxford Dictionary. Dont those people annoy you anyway? Always going on about the decline of the English language, poetry, Shakespeare and such. Not only will dont save my right hand, but tweaking those Ivy-Leaguers will add a little amusement bonus to the whole thing.

Down with don't -- Up with dont!! (and cant for that matter)

Oh my... Im looking for some PHP code that can add voting and polls to my blog. So i go to Google with a simple search on "php vote"....

The #1 hit is php code.

The #2 hit is, as Monty Python would say, something completely different. http://ratemyschlong.com/

Makes me wonder how far sex on the internet is going to go. Will there ever be a time when parents and children can use the Internet without having to worry about adult entertainment?